Public Speaking

Small talk – have something up your sleeve

A woman and a man sit facing each other on plain chairs in an otherwise unfurnished situation, talking. Both have their legs crossed and she is holding a cup.

A lot of my clients react well to this bit of advice, so I’ll share it with you too.

Some of us are not as fond of small talk as others are. It feels awkward and we can’t think of anything to say or we feel like we say too much. But a lot of small talk is the same list of subjects, for example:

Where do you come from?
What do you do?
Why are you here at this party / meeting / workplace?
Where did you go to school? (If you’re from a certain part of NZ, you’ll know this one well! 😉)

You can prepare for these subjects. It’s not cheating to already have decided what and how much you’re going to say about these things.

Try this:

Notice what questions or topics come up in small talk for you. Start with the ones above if that helps.
Develop basic answers to those. Under certain circumstances, you might want to say more or less but you’ll have a starting point that should settle that awkwardness a bit.
Notice what else comes up when you use those basic answers. Maybe you feel really comfortable with that you’ve decided to say. Maybe it’s still awkward. Maybe someone says something back to you that gets you to say more!
Refine those answers every time you engage in some small talk. Make it a game if you like. Maybe you’ll enjoy small talk a little more with that motivation.

Good luck! (Small talk is not my favourite either. 😊)