Public Speaking

A reader mentioned being a perfectionist as part of her brain turning off if she had to speak in public.

We don’t like disapproval** so we try to be ‘perfect’.

I looked for the perfect definition of perfectionism.  😉  How about this:  

“Perfectionism is a trait that makes life an endless report card on accomplishments or looks.”  

That sounds exhausting.

A good public speaker is relaxed… with a hint of butterflies.  A memorable speech has humanity in it.  And humans aren’t perfect.

If you’re feeling like your speaking has to be perfect these holidays (or any time), ask yourself these questions:

1. What is the standard I’m aiming for?

Really pin that down.  What does the perfect speech look like to you and to your audience?  

Write it down so it doesn’t slip away in the melee that is your brain when you’re trying to be perfect.  

If you can’t, how will you ever know you’ve reached it?  

Let it go and try for something you can write down. 

Now, look at it and decide:

2. How much work will that take?

Be realistic.  

3. Is that amount of work reasonable given my other priorities?

‘Reasonable’ is the key here.  Not “If I don’t sleep or go to the loo for three days, I can squeeze this in with the other 43 things I’m doing.”

4. How much of this perfect standard is actually in my control?  

Hint:  your audience’s reaction is almost completely out of your control so ‘perfect’ is in other people’s hands.

5. What are the true consequences of me not meeting this perfect standard?

Perfectionism is usually driven by you.  You get to make the call on this question.

If the perfect standard is driven by someone else, get them to describe the standard to you, then decide if you have the capacity to meet it.  You might be able to negotiate.

‘Perfect’ doesn’t usually survive reality. Aim for something that shows your humanity instead.  Your audience will appreciate it.

**In another post, I explained why: My brain turns off when it’s my turn to speak: When the thought ‘What will other people think of me?’ strikes

TL;DR: we don’t want to become a tasty snack alone in the wilderness.